EXPERTS OF the small ball game will turn the All-Ireland senior hurling final inside out, upside down and God only knows how many ways in a bid to forecast the champ.
As happens with so many boring previews of matches, TV chatter boxes and newspaper scribes will pronounce the magic words: It is a 50/50 game, a toss of a coin, a puck of a sliotar, cliché and more clichés.
We can spare the blushes of the hurling witch doctors. Our advice is to leave the punting or at least the wherewithal to deliver to the grandmothers of Ireland.
For at the end of the day, the game will be won by the team that is the beneficiary of Granny’s Intentions regardless of what team triumphs.
If Kilkenny conquer than we will know that it is the grans of black and amber country that have the most influence with the Man Above.
If favourites Limerick topple Brian Cody’s warriors then it is the grandmas of The Treaty that are in Holy God’s good books.
The power of prayer is unbelievable, or so teams of grannies may believe, some grandpas too as they crave for Liam MacCarthy success for their sons, grandsons or cousins.
Coincidentally, Granny’s Intentions was also an R&B (Rhythm & Blues) band founded in Limerick in 1965.
Noted swingers in that great band were Johnny Duhan and Gary Moore but presumably guitars and drums would be in their travel bags and not hurleys and sliotars.
Anyway back to granny or indeed grannies.
There are those that may believe that their hurling heroes can walk on water or change water into wine.
Featherweight stuff really when granny has a bottle of magic uisce that with a few spatters and a ‘God be with ye all’ message can lead to Holy Grail gold.
Hurlers, Gaelic footballers too, have spoken of the drenching from granny as they headed for wars of hurling attrition.
Our hunch is that a majority of players may believe that a sprinkle from a holy water bottle may be a vital part of the ritual of preparing for the game of their lives.
There is nowt more powerful and beautiful than a granny’s love so a gran with a bottle to back up her passion for a beloved one is a vital for any sportsman’s or indeed sportswoman’s curriculum vitae.
A draw match could spell fireworks in Heaven before extra time.
Another sprinkle of the bottle is a certainty from Munster and Leinster grans.
Then out comes the secret weapon.
Rosary beads will be on overtime during extra time and possibly right into any shoot-out.
It’s go, granny go and may the best grannies win.
A black and amber rosary beads could just do the trick at the end of a brutal bottle battle.