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Our Tommy Is A Magnet For The Girls

by Jimmy Rhatigan

A flirty swan failed to meet her match as she ambled in Graignamanagh on Wednesday.
Miss Swan was swimming and fishing for her supper in the River Barrow when, in the corner of her eye, she spotted what she believed to be a good looking fellow from Kilkenny City called Tommy Roche who was out for a riverside stroll.
Fresh from her dip in the nip, she dashed from the waters and the wild and our feathered friend plucked up courage as she ran in hasty pursuit of her new found would be inamorata.
It was love at first sight and as a bonus Miss Swan just may have had a fish ‘n’ chip lunch in mind.
She flapped her wings, up throttled her engine and was soon on Tommy’s tail.
Now our city lad is known for his admiration of the ladies.

But a Miss Swan with an eye for romance?
And perhaps in the back of the mind of the Graig bird was a new home on the banks of the Nore in Kilkenny City, in Tommy’s cosy hacienda at St John’s Court in the shadow of St John’s ‘O’Loughlin Memorial’ Church.
When he found out that he was being stalked, Tommy decided he was having none of Miss Swan’s advances and an amble was quickly upgraded to a run of panic.
He escaped with his life and without any possibility of a wife.
Love smitten, Miss Swan’s wish for a dream home went from being on a wing and a prayer to a new underwater search for the type of dinner she craved and hoped would be paid for out of Tommy’s pocket.
The poor girl, any female could have told her there was little hope of the latter.
But let’s not be harsh and give T the benefit of the doubt.

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